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HeroicStories #769: Trust Him
Reaching more than 41,500 subscribers in 118 countries, this is...
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HeroicStories #769: 18 June 2009 www.HeroicStories.com
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Trust Him Story Editor:
by Bonnie Buttron Joyce Schowalter
Illinois, USA
I work for a sub contractor at a job site in Illinois. Because several
of us have done exemplary work, each time the contract was up for
renewal the job site management always requested that we stay. Thus, I
have had the opportunity to become acquainted with the employees. I have
worked on this job site for over thirteen years, always part time.
One day while at work in the summer of 2008, my mind was in despair as
to how I was going to handle the many problems associated with my son's
illness. He has schizophrenia. He had stopped taking his medication and
his symptoms intensified. His behavior became more erratic, and his and
my frustrations were accelerating.
My mind was seesawing back and forth with thoughts. I should be home.
How am I going to convince him he needs to take this medication? What is
he doing in my absence? What am I going to find at home? I need this job
in order to make ends meet. How do other people manage in the same
situation?
Then there were worries about overcoming the stigma attached to this
illness. And angry thoughts, as all attempts to receive help have been
stymied by bureaucrats, with mental health funding slashed by
politicians. What am I going to do in the future for myself and for him?
What's going to happen to him after I'm gone?
I'm 63, have major heart muscle death from a heart attack, two cervical
discs herniated, and severe osteoarthritis throughout my whole body. My
symptoms were severe that day: the spinal cord arthritis was causing
muscle spasms in my hand, charley horses in my calves and an
excruciating headache. In general, I was starting to decline into a
depressed mood.
Linda, an employee who had confided in me about her Crohn's disease and
the fact her daughter was enrolled in college and was finding it
difficult to adjust, stopped by to say goodnight. I asked her how she
was, and how her daughter was.
She said that she was feeling better, and her daughter was doing fine.
She asked about my son. All she knew about my son was that he suffers
from organic brain syndrome. I told her he was not doing so well.
Linda replied, "Trust him but most of all just love him," and she left.
Those words resounded in my whole being. I do love my son, but on this
day I let my fears and frustrations overshadow this fact. Most of all,
the words "trust him" really struck home. I had allowed his illness to
deflect me from his basic nature and personality. I started remembering
all the issues he has, yet he still works at overcoming them.
I have had too many people, professional and otherwise, advocate the
futility of expecting anything from my son. Linda saved me spiritually,
emotionally and mentally. I keep her words ever-present in my thoughts.
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This issue was made possible by the generosity of
HeroicStories' Readers.
Join your fellow readers here:
http://www.HeroicStories.com/fund.html
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We've put this off for too long, and are gearing up for a fundraiser.
There's a little trepidation involved, from all the news of economies
suffering around the world. Still, our expenses do exist, and must be
met. We want to do a "reader-inspired" segment, so our questions to you
are: What would you say to other readers, to inspire them to contribute
to HeroicStories? What makes HeroicStories something you'd like to see
continue? What role has it played in your life, big or small? Why would
you, yourself, contribute to HeroicStories? Why do you hope others will
join you? We look forward to hearing from you, at
comments@HeroicStories.com .
Our HeroicStories issue "Carry On and Rise Above" (#768) featured a
story by Lindsay from the UK, about her high school music teacher. Mr
Howarth won the hearts of his students, ignoring his cleft palate and
inspiring them to achieve and join the musical groups -- as well as
entertaining them.
Michele in Texas replied: "Thoroughly enjoyed the story about Mr.
Howarth, the writer's senior school music teacher. Reminded me of my
high school music teacher, Mr. Peter Runfolo. He was a large man and on
the first day of Chorus, most of us took one look and thought, 'HE's
going to teach us music?' And well he did. He also taught band,
spearheaded our high school musical productions, and created some
outstanding half-time shows. Many of his students kept track of him
after he left our high school. When he died a few years ago, those who
could attend his funeral did, and those who couldn't, contributed to a
floral arrangement. Student consensus was that Mr. Runfolo was an
outstanding teacher because he was genuinely interested in each of his
students, and was absolutely enthralled with music and conveyed that
love to all of us."
BJ in Oklahoma adds: "I say hats off to Mr Howarth and to teachers like
him. I overcame my speech difficulties, stuttering, and cleft palate by
going to a speech clinic. I am not by any means perfect but am
considered about average. Thanks to the clinic, I have been able to
speak in public, (preaching) and do some public speaking. This has
helped my self-image and overcome a lot of personal demons. To the ones
who have not tried, try."
We have yet more feedback regarding "Back on Two Wheels" (#767), a story
of two men who helped a gal motorcyclist to stand up her bike after it
tipped over. But first, in the "amazing coincidence" category, we
received this note from Carol, the story's author. "The story came out
on the anniversary of my sweetie's death. It helped make a bad day
better for me." Of course, we had no idea when that anniversary was!
Ruth in Kentucky wrote: "In response to the reader upset about taking a
chance on one's motorcycle tipping over. I'm a 50-year-old woman, 5' 2"
tall, who's had cervical spinal surgery. My sweetheart has ridden for 45
years, and points out that if you ride, you WILL lay down your bike. He
helped me find a bike short enough for me to handle. Thanks to the link
in #768, (http://www.pinkribbonrides.com/dropped.html) I now have a
practical, pain-free, way to lift my bike on my own. I love that
HeroicStories not only inspires people, but is a venue by which people
can help each other. I've forwarded countless HS copies to friends and
family, and now have another reason to be grateful for its existence."
Taj from Massachusetts sent another method for lifting a bike: "When I
took my Motorcycle Safety class, the instructor told us about a retired
woman he knows with a large touring bike (Honda GoldWing). She put a
small jack in one of her bags. The jack lifts the bike up without her
relying on a friendly stranger or throwing out her back."
Carole from California sent a comment worth pondering: "It has been my
goal, since I've 'grown up' (matured actually), to be a 'beneficial
presence'. I truly want folks to think, 'I'm better for having met her.'
I am by no means the caliber (nor do I want to be) of Mother Theresa or
Mahatma Gandhi, or other great benefactors -- and occasionally I need a
reminder about why we are here. Besides living life to the fullest, I am
certain it's to help others do the same. Carpe diem."
Joyce Schowalter, Publisher
Co-Conspirator to Make the World a Better Place
COMMENTS about stories are always welcome -- please include your first
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last updated: May 2005